Saturday, May 31, 2014
I Can't Relate: Self Motivation
I Can't Relate: Self Motivation: As I sit here on this absolutely stunning morning in late May, I ponder what the rest of the world may be up too? You see I have been bless...
Self Motivation
As I sit here on this absolutely stunning morning in late May, I ponder what the rest of the world may be up too? You see I have been blessed to be able to park my rear on the upper deck of our country home and be in total seclusion with nature. Only the sounds of birds and breeze are with me on this day. It makes me wonder of all of those loved ones, and acquaintances that I know who are dedicated and painstakingly busy in their lives are actually realizing the beauty that surrounds them?
I remember those days of frantic shouts from the other room "I can't find my soccer socks! Do you know where my water bottle is? !! "
The days of rushing to and fro with a grumble on my face and that same grumble in my tone. I'm not going to be cliche and tell you that I miss those days. I am not going to tell you to enjoy them while they last because they will end some day. I will tell you that I am happy that I experienced those days that have helped me to be more grateful for this slower time in my life.
I feel my late Grandmother "Muner" was her nick name, must have passed the "Queen" gene on to me. I speak with her often and we have so much in common. We both have two children 12 years apart in age by choice. Due mainly to the fact that we could only deal with one snotty nose at a time. She was a classy lady, some may even describe her as aloof. Those were not traits she passed to me, yet I do like to be extremely comfortable at all times. But I can do that with any one (for the most part, minus creepers) and in any environment, (for the most part, minus sleeping without a pillow or canoeing down a creek with barely in water)
She was a lady of leisure like myself and although she fought the anxiety demon internally, you would never know from the outside. Unfortunately, she passed that on to me as well. I am at a place in my life where my husband is now in the forefront of my world. It has become apparently clear to me that we all tend to put our children first and even though I do feel that is the way it should be, I now understand the importance of giving in order to receive when it comes to your spouse. Supporting him, complimenting him, lending a hand when he is overwhelmed, and letting him know you appreciate everything he does for you... comes back to me ten times over. Those years of neglecting him and being bitter that he didn't have more of a part in the kids lives are gone. He is a man of few words and when he does compliment me, it was always that I am a good Mother. I am a good person, and I am loved. That is all I need (plus, that is all I will get too... fishing for compliments on my appearance is fruitless) but are those not traits that any one would love to have said about them in their lives? Not that she was pretty, but that she had a kind heart.
My children are grown and I am not in any hurry to have grandchildren any time soon. (more worry, boo hiss) My parents and his parents are now our focus with a few health issues. I want some quality time with them while possible. I feel that God has given me this space in order to do just that and to not lose sight of the circle of life. Son and Daughter in-laws will come soon enough with babies to follow, but right at this moment, I want to cherish those who have given so much to our lives and have made us who we are and to pay them back for their unconditional love. You see my biological Father was MIA all my life and lied to me the last part of his life about his identity when he knew how much I longed to know him. It's a good thing I didn't get to know him, it was a true blessing that he couldn't reject me face to face. I have a taste of what that feels like from his son, my half brother as he spewed wicked words upon me in a moment of what he considers to be a betrayal of blood. Sorta cracks me up how he can even speak of blood to me, but then that is why I don't have guilt about cutting him out of my life. Like Father like Son fits nicely here I suppose. My Pop is my Dad and I hope he knows and understands why I needed to search for blood. I'm sure it hurt and I am grateful that he never said so, but allowed me to explore on my own. Thank you Pop, I love you.
So I guess I should bring this all around as to why I titled this post "Self Motivation"
I find it more and more difficult to motivate myself as I am crashing in on my senior years. This quiet moment will pass and I will look back at it and wish that I had stopped putting so much pressure on myself to be productive every moment of the day, to look good and to be fit. To make everyone else happy and to feel less-than if I don't work an 8-5 job. We all put so much pressure on ourselves to be the best we can be, but isn't it just ok to be mediocre and to have the person and people you love most in life to say "She was a good Mother, she was a good person, and she was loved" ?
Self Control, Self Restraint, Self Discipline ... ugh! Sure those words are important if you can't do all things in moderation, but in the end ... are you doing it for others to see? Or to make sure you reach the pearly gates.
A very wise young man just told me this week, that outwardly deeds of good works are not what the Master wants and he even gave me the book and chapter to prove it. That in itself was profound, as I had NO IDEA that this young man had read the Bible let alone remembered it ! He doesn't need to talk the talk, he has his own relationship with the Big Man. I love it.
In summary, I will not lay around and get porked out eating bon bons all day, but I will take the time to sit on my deck and reflect and know that at any moment things can change on a dime and this freedom will be gone.
Slow down y'all,
Jo Lynn Sudenly ;D
I remember those days of frantic shouts from the other room "I can't find my soccer socks! Do you know where my water bottle is? !! "
The days of rushing to and fro with a grumble on my face and that same grumble in my tone. I'm not going to be cliche and tell you that I miss those days. I am not going to tell you to enjoy them while they last because they will end some day. I will tell you that I am happy that I experienced those days that have helped me to be more grateful for this slower time in my life.
I feel my late Grandmother "Muner" was her nick name, must have passed the "Queen" gene on to me. I speak with her often and we have so much in common. We both have two children 12 years apart in age by choice. Due mainly to the fact that we could only deal with one snotty nose at a time. She was a classy lady, some may even describe her as aloof. Those were not traits she passed to me, yet I do like to be extremely comfortable at all times. But I can do that with any one (for the most part, minus creepers) and in any environment, (for the most part, minus sleeping without a pillow or canoeing down a creek with barely in water)
She was a lady of leisure like myself and although she fought the anxiety demon internally, you would never know from the outside. Unfortunately, she passed that on to me as well. I am at a place in my life where my husband is now in the forefront of my world. It has become apparently clear to me that we all tend to put our children first and even though I do feel that is the way it should be, I now understand the importance of giving in order to receive when it comes to your spouse. Supporting him, complimenting him, lending a hand when he is overwhelmed, and letting him know you appreciate everything he does for you... comes back to me ten times over. Those years of neglecting him and being bitter that he didn't have more of a part in the kids lives are gone. He is a man of few words and when he does compliment me, it was always that I am a good Mother. I am a good person, and I am loved. That is all I need (plus, that is all I will get too... fishing for compliments on my appearance is fruitless) but are those not traits that any one would love to have said about them in their lives? Not that she was pretty, but that she had a kind heart.
My children are grown and I am not in any hurry to have grandchildren any time soon. (more worry, boo hiss) My parents and his parents are now our focus with a few health issues. I want some quality time with them while possible. I feel that God has given me this space in order to do just that and to not lose sight of the circle of life. Son and Daughter in-laws will come soon enough with babies to follow, but right at this moment, I want to cherish those who have given so much to our lives and have made us who we are and to pay them back for their unconditional love. You see my biological Father was MIA all my life and lied to me the last part of his life about his identity when he knew how much I longed to know him. It's a good thing I didn't get to know him, it was a true blessing that he couldn't reject me face to face. I have a taste of what that feels like from his son, my half brother as he spewed wicked words upon me in a moment of what he considers to be a betrayal of blood. Sorta cracks me up how he can even speak of blood to me, but then that is why I don't have guilt about cutting him out of my life. Like Father like Son fits nicely here I suppose. My Pop is my Dad and I hope he knows and understands why I needed to search for blood. I'm sure it hurt and I am grateful that he never said so, but allowed me to explore on my own. Thank you Pop, I love you.
So I guess I should bring this all around as to why I titled this post "Self Motivation"
I find it more and more difficult to motivate myself as I am crashing in on my senior years. This quiet moment will pass and I will look back at it and wish that I had stopped putting so much pressure on myself to be productive every moment of the day, to look good and to be fit. To make everyone else happy and to feel less-than if I don't work an 8-5 job. We all put so much pressure on ourselves to be the best we can be, but isn't it just ok to be mediocre and to have the person and people you love most in life to say "She was a good Mother, she was a good person, and she was loved" ?
Self Control, Self Restraint, Self Discipline ... ugh! Sure those words are important if you can't do all things in moderation, but in the end ... are you doing it for others to see? Or to make sure you reach the pearly gates.
A very wise young man just told me this week, that outwardly deeds of good works are not what the Master wants and he even gave me the book and chapter to prove it. That in itself was profound, as I had NO IDEA that this young man had read the Bible let alone remembered it ! He doesn't need to talk the talk, he has his own relationship with the Big Man. I love it.
In summary, I will not lay around and get porked out eating bon bons all day, but I will take the time to sit on my deck and reflect and know that at any moment things can change on a dime and this freedom will be gone.
Slow down y'all,
Jo Lynn Sudenly ;D
Monday, March 17, 2014
Feeling Refreshed !
Mental Illness :
I recently returned from a very moving and eye opening women's retreat that my sister invited me too across the country on the spur of the moment. This is not remarkable to many who find themselves seeking adventure however, for me it was entirely out of my comfort zone. I title this section mental illness, because I am aware of the stigma attached and the fear that some people have toward the diagnosis.
If you know my history at all, I struggle with depression and anxiety with triggers from traumatic events. This past holiday season I visited a Dr. who has the worst bedside manner yet hit the nail on the head with the medicine he prescribed. I was one that carried the attitude that you can just pull yourself up by the boot straps and march right out of depression. I learned that mental illness is nothing to play around with and it is a serious physical condition that must be supervised by professionals.
Self medicating was the choice I had made for myself for several years. Drug of choice... alcohol. Knowing that I could push the pain down and deal with it later was much easier than actually facing the demons head on. I am a guilt driven person unfortunately and therefore after I had killed my personal pain, I would have sleepless nights of trying to remember exactly what words or actions I had taken while under the influence. Wondering and worrying about what damage if any that I may have caused those around me in my blurry time of short personal relief.
After taking my anti-depressant for a few weeks, I began to notice that I wasn't having the urge to reach for the bottle. I was actually beginning to feel like the person I had known years before all my horrific tales began. I was singing again, I was dancing around the house again and I was exercising again. I was reaching out to others again, instead of hiding out and doing my best to tip toe around my loved ones in order to hide what was truly going on in my complex mind. I had tried medicine before with no success, so the many choices on the market are not a one size fits all. You must keep trying to find the one that works for you. With all of that said, I now am feeling refreshed and excited about my new state of mind and the good that it can bring for all of those around me. So if you too struggle with depression and or any other mental illness that is holding you back, I urge you to get help and see for yourself the amazing quality of life that can be returned to you by allowing your brain to be balanced and healthy.
Women !!!
I am no expert when it comes to knowing the minds of all women. We are unique and ever changing human beings. Yet I do feel that we share so many of the same juggling acts in regards to family, friends, work, and self worth. How do we get past the idea that we are selfish if we take time out for ourselves? Like right now for instance... I have dishes in the sink and the dust bunnies are in plain view with a ring of slime on my shower that is haunting me. I would normally never feel good about sitting down to write without having everything in order first, so that I won't feel guilty about pushing what I want or need to the forefront of my list. Well guess what, it feels pretty darn good! My husband is an extremely understanding and loving man that has allowed me to be exactly who I need to be without judgement. So why is it that I feel I must accomplish something for him to notice when he walks in the house? Silly. He asks nothing of me and yet the guilt of showing him that I am worthy is overwhelming at times. Simply crazy.
Therapy? Well, been there done that and I have yet to find a good therapist that can actually give me the tools to hit the toggle switch in my brain. I am who I am, and no matter how many times that someone tells me that it was not my fault or that there is no way I can change it now, it never seems to stick other than the fact that logically I know that to be true. Logic is not a tool for a mother who is in a constant state of "If only I had known, or I should've done this or that " Those or just words that will never resonate in my heart, so now I have to learn how to cope with them instead. I'm getting there.
Children:
Why is it that as mothers' we are only as happy as our least happy child? I am fortunate enough to only have two children and they are 12 years apart in age. This allows me to deal with two completely different sets of issues or problems that arise. I Can't Relate to mothers' who have several children that they worry over. It must be a sea of juggling hearts and never feeling that sense for just a fleeting moment that ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD. Marriage is tough enough to maintain, let alone children and parents and friends and work.
Hats off to those mothers' who keep plugging away at it day after day. I hope that you allow yourself to understand that although you must continue to try, it is a very rare moment to find the stars and moon all lining up at once for your fleeting sigh of relief.
Summary:
I want to keep this post short (those dishes are shouting at me now) so that I can come back and hopefully see some comments from any of you, and that we can address some topics that are concerning you in your life right now. I will share with you more about my trip and how much finding a group of women to share your struggles with is refreshing and invigorating. A safe place to fall. My hope for you today, is that you can find a small spot in your brain to tell yourself that you are worthy and that you are doing a good job! Hang in there ladies !!!!
Thank you,
Jo Lynn ;D
I recently returned from a very moving and eye opening women's retreat that my sister invited me too across the country on the spur of the moment. This is not remarkable to many who find themselves seeking adventure however, for me it was entirely out of my comfort zone. I title this section mental illness, because I am aware of the stigma attached and the fear that some people have toward the diagnosis.
If you know my history at all, I struggle with depression and anxiety with triggers from traumatic events. This past holiday season I visited a Dr. who has the worst bedside manner yet hit the nail on the head with the medicine he prescribed. I was one that carried the attitude that you can just pull yourself up by the boot straps and march right out of depression. I learned that mental illness is nothing to play around with and it is a serious physical condition that must be supervised by professionals.
Self medicating was the choice I had made for myself for several years. Drug of choice... alcohol. Knowing that I could push the pain down and deal with it later was much easier than actually facing the demons head on. I am a guilt driven person unfortunately and therefore after I had killed my personal pain, I would have sleepless nights of trying to remember exactly what words or actions I had taken while under the influence. Wondering and worrying about what damage if any that I may have caused those around me in my blurry time of short personal relief.
After taking my anti-depressant for a few weeks, I began to notice that I wasn't having the urge to reach for the bottle. I was actually beginning to feel like the person I had known years before all my horrific tales began. I was singing again, I was dancing around the house again and I was exercising again. I was reaching out to others again, instead of hiding out and doing my best to tip toe around my loved ones in order to hide what was truly going on in my complex mind. I had tried medicine before with no success, so the many choices on the market are not a one size fits all. You must keep trying to find the one that works for you. With all of that said, I now am feeling refreshed and excited about my new state of mind and the good that it can bring for all of those around me. So if you too struggle with depression and or any other mental illness that is holding you back, I urge you to get help and see for yourself the amazing quality of life that can be returned to you by allowing your brain to be balanced and healthy.
Women !!!
I am no expert when it comes to knowing the minds of all women. We are unique and ever changing human beings. Yet I do feel that we share so many of the same juggling acts in regards to family, friends, work, and self worth. How do we get past the idea that we are selfish if we take time out for ourselves? Like right now for instance... I have dishes in the sink and the dust bunnies are in plain view with a ring of slime on my shower that is haunting me. I would normally never feel good about sitting down to write without having everything in order first, so that I won't feel guilty about pushing what I want or need to the forefront of my list. Well guess what, it feels pretty darn good! My husband is an extremely understanding and loving man that has allowed me to be exactly who I need to be without judgement. So why is it that I feel I must accomplish something for him to notice when he walks in the house? Silly. He asks nothing of me and yet the guilt of showing him that I am worthy is overwhelming at times. Simply crazy.
Therapy? Well, been there done that and I have yet to find a good therapist that can actually give me the tools to hit the toggle switch in my brain. I am who I am, and no matter how many times that someone tells me that it was not my fault or that there is no way I can change it now, it never seems to stick other than the fact that logically I know that to be true. Logic is not a tool for a mother who is in a constant state of "If only I had known, or I should've done this or that " Those or just words that will never resonate in my heart, so now I have to learn how to cope with them instead. I'm getting there.
Children:
Why is it that as mothers' we are only as happy as our least happy child? I am fortunate enough to only have two children and they are 12 years apart in age. This allows me to deal with two completely different sets of issues or problems that arise. I Can't Relate to mothers' who have several children that they worry over. It must be a sea of juggling hearts and never feeling that sense for just a fleeting moment that ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD. Marriage is tough enough to maintain, let alone children and parents and friends and work.
Hats off to those mothers' who keep plugging away at it day after day. I hope that you allow yourself to understand that although you must continue to try, it is a very rare moment to find the stars and moon all lining up at once for your fleeting sigh of relief.
Summary:
I want to keep this post short (those dishes are shouting at me now) so that I can come back and hopefully see some comments from any of you, and that we can address some topics that are concerning you in your life right now. I will share with you more about my trip and how much finding a group of women to share your struggles with is refreshing and invigorating. A safe place to fall. My hope for you today, is that you can find a small spot in your brain to tell yourself that you are worthy and that you are doing a good job! Hang in there ladies !!!!
Thank you,
Jo Lynn ;D
Thursday, January 10, 2013
2013 WILL be Different !!! (cause I said so) ;D
So it's been several months now that I have felt like, or had the opportunity to reach out and spill my silly little beans to any one who may have a bored moment in a doc's office or waiting to pick up a child at practice, to read about an everyday simple girl and the bizarre things that run through her head. So if you are so inclined to listen to my random thoughts, I actually have a little quiet time on my hands to fill you in on what you have missed.
Random Thought # 1 ~
YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYBODY !
Now of course you already knew that, but why do we as women especially; try to continue to do so? My lessons that I take away from my recent experiences, (quitting Fed-X) are that I am ONLY disappointing myself. No one else holds on to a thought about me any longer than a minute. I on the other hand, let it linger on a reel of film that burns in my mind until I am tangled in a spool of self deprecating doubt and insecurity. Can you say seeking the approval of others? Obviously... *sigh*
My concerns over other peoples thoughts about me, and how together MY life is, has become more of a problem than actually getting MY life together! Wha? Say it isn't so. I can and will make my own changes at my own pace and I will only judge myself on what I feel to be true at the end of the day. If I fail, which is highly possible but yet not inevitable, I have tomorrow to try again. Those who would dream of passing judgement on me, are only using me as a measure to determine their own success. (take that, so there ;D )
Random Thought # 2 ~
Holidays are Hell ! Well, they don't have to be unless you happen to have SPARKY (chevy chase from Christmas Vacation) attending the festivities with all the flawless glorious memories of Past Family Christmas's treasured in his/her head. (I was given that compliment by the way of "it's my fault I made it so great" that felt pretty cool) Setting the stage for failure as the times have slightly changed (Mitch is no longer 6) and yet the expectations continue to be set so high, that no family could ever possibly live up to them. It's unfortunate that there are not MORE Sparky's in the world, (or in my house.) Trying to keep the hopes alive for one, and stop the rolling eyes and moans of others, was a job for a professional mediator. Not your simple people pleasing Mom like me. In the end... we only had two episodes of tears and a final game of laughter to send Sparky back home to her reality in another land, with a smile and hopefully a new outlook for another go at it next year. (she says "forget the boys Mom, come down and stay with me for Christmas next year") Well, I'm not too sure how that would go over. Maybe I can have two holidays? Geez oh pete, I'm exhausted already.
Random Thought # 3 ~
Deciding to take on a paying job after 20 years of working for yourself, should really begin with something much less demanding, rigid, brutal, and physically crippling such as a famous shipping company in PEAK shopping season! Wowza ! What a doozie of an experience that was, and humbling I might add as well. There were serious Pro's to this embarkment and believe me I repeated them in my head each time I felt like a prisoner on the chain gang. My husband stepped up to the plate and took care of all the MOM duties. Such as trips to the doctor and school, running to the store for more food for our starving teenage boy with a concussion. Running me a hot tub with Epsom Salt and making sure the wine was poured before I pulled in to the driveway and hobbled to the door on the verge of tears. Listening to me tell him of all the people I have met and the ones I found to be interesting and yes the ones that were well.. just plain weird. I found myself learning all over again about "playing well with others" all others. Including those that smell, curse and are down right rude. Youngsters today? Where is their work ethic? They obviously were not raised in my generation where "team" did not have an 'i' in it. You see a struggling older (yet lovely) lady, there should be no hesitation, just help HER ! There is no commission here dude, let's all get out of here faster, agreed? NO, ME DID MY PART, NOW ME STAND OVER YOU AND SMILE WHILE I WATCH YOU KILL YOURSELF!!! (evil laughter follows)
Random thought # 4 ~
Concussions are super serious... just sayin'
Random thought # 5 ~
So to sum this up, I have been accused of many things in my life. Some possibly true; when I've given them serious thought that is. For instance when my husband said to me " you just want everyone to like you " yeah okay, that I can buy and improve upon. But others... that I know for a FACT to be untrue and have weighed on my heart for entirely too long. Such as "you wrote that book for people to feel sorry for you, and so you could take advantage of them"
THAT! ... is a complete lie, and because you have never bothered to back it up with any examples, incidents or evidence for over a year now, you apparently also know it to be UN-TRUE. As an adult, I have learned that we also still hurt just as much as we did when we were children. People always say that "kids can be mean" well... we are all God's children and we can still be mean as adults. It still hurts just as bad as it did back then. An apology can be a band-aid for the booboo, but the sincereness that comes along with it, is what truly starts the healing. So since you don't have time or the interest to read random thoughts of others, you will never know how much you hurt me. But you are no longer allowed in my random thoughts and I vomit you from my mind. (oh...sorry, got off on the wrong tangent that you don't even have a clue about. Always a hater in the bunch) Ok... with that said;
I am just a girl/woman, who put myself out there so that others could know that I am not afraid to be real. I am not a STEPFORD wife who hides all the bad and only portrays the good. My husband and I do not live a perfect life nor do our children. I have never insinuated for one second that I needed pity or special treatment of any kind and it is an insult to me that there are those out there that think I have. This book of mine was to be a GOOD thing, and I'm sorry that you can't be happy for me. However, I won't let you drag me down any longer. YOU have a story yourself ... it's okay to tell it. I know one person who will listen without judgement, thats me. I am a confident and happy person for the most part, but when someone attacks my character, some wild eyed italian flares it's nostrils and it sure ain't pretty. You may just end up in my next book that is more scandalous than the last ;D
I have failed to let a special friend of mine, whom I have known through thick and thin and has been there for me since I was a stupid teenager; I didn't return the attention or the interest that she deserved. Thank you... Thank you... Thank you. You never fail me and you are an inspiration to me everyday. I send out LOVE to you... more than your heart can hold !
Let's all be kinder and more tolerant of one another. Let's look at why there is so much sadness in the world. You may save a life and not even know it ! You may prevent that child who had someone be mean to them, from picking up a gun. (nobody freak out, I don't mean ME ! ) LOL
IN Other GREAT News ! ~
My book has had some new buzz around it, and I am a little weary of getting too excited just yet... But wouldn't it be wonderful if it hit the big screen before I croak? I will shamefully plug it at this time. "I Can't Relate" A story of a simple girl with a complicated life by Jo Lynn Sudenly A Memoir Available at www.jenjohere.com
I am available for book signings and intimate speaking engagements as well. Find me: jenjohere@gmail.com
Signing out for now, your simple girl friend... Jo Lynn ;D
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Update on the Mystery Dining Alone Lady...
Well...
The sweet little lady from the wonderful evening that I posted about on June 12th, has yet to contact me. Therefore, I must pay my husband his winnings on the bet that it was NOT a divine appointment. Yet just another chance meeting with a nice lady who has no time to encourage a seeking and struggling woman with her issues on faith.
Maybe life is as cynical as my husband paints it?
Maybe I am a dreamer that hopes there is something out there greater than myself that has the wheel.
Whenever I get that feeling, wether it be a shooting star or an encounter with a minister woman in a setting unusual for prayer, it never seems to carry on. The next day life is as exactly as I left it the night before. A brand new day... the sun is shining... a brand new day! Love those words, but are they truly brand new?
Not in my experience.
Love all your supportive comments,
Jen/Jo
The sweet little lady from the wonderful evening that I posted about on June 12th, has yet to contact me. Therefore, I must pay my husband his winnings on the bet that it was NOT a divine appointment. Yet just another chance meeting with a nice lady who has no time to encourage a seeking and struggling woman with her issues on faith.
Maybe life is as cynical as my husband paints it?
Maybe I am a dreamer that hopes there is something out there greater than myself that has the wheel.
Whenever I get that feeling, wether it be a shooting star or an encounter with a minister woman in a setting unusual for prayer, it never seems to carry on. The next day life is as exactly as I left it the night before. A brand new day... the sun is shining... a brand new day! Love those words, but are they truly brand new?
Not in my experience.
Love all your supportive comments,
Jen/Jo
Monday, September 10, 2012
Ahhhh.... Election Time
Yes election time is upon us once again, and boy does it bring out the worst in people.
I am at an age in life where I speak my mind when asked, and I speak it honestly. But I don't feel that it is necessary to brow beat everyone I meet that may differ in my opinion over just about every issue that is discussed in today's media, social sites and even Church on Sunday.
If you are not careful, you can lose some of your dearest friends that ten years ago you would have never even dreamed of knowing their political views. Now it seems that everyone must shout theirs' from the mountain tops! It reminds me of the time my husband told me, let's see it has to have been at least 20 years ago because our son is almost 16, that he didn't need to bring a child in to this world. It was not a place that he felt he wanted to subject a child to, and that it was only going to get worse. Boy was he right! Maybe we can start charging a fee for him to foresee the future instead of me trying to sell books ???
Well as stated above, our 16 year old son was born and very much planned after all. It seems even my husband was too enticed with the idea of carrying on his name and leaving some sort of mark on this world. Holding his breath that he wasn't leaving his son to the fears he had for our countries' and this global planets foreboding future.
I will do my level best to avoid any sensitive subjects for the next 60 days and decline any social gatherings and events that include politically passionate people. It is one thing to be passionate and another to be abrasive and rude. To wish someone dead just because they speak their mind, and are strong in their opinions plus Lord forbid homosexual, is just one example of how what you may feel is meant to be humorous, but is just down right truly appalling.
I am just a simple girl, who wants to watch the news and to look on FB to stay informed. Not to be blasted by personal opinion and biased views of what the world needs today. I have given both of my children the opportunity to judge for themselves. I have never forced a religious view or a political view on them. I have however, forced politeness, kindness, and listening and learning upon them. I know that as individuals they will make the right decisions as I have taught them to LOVE all man kind and to accept the unaccepted. To see the right where there is wrong and to seek out the best in people as we all make mistakes. My job as a parent is the only thing I feel that I can actually do to help change the world. Make it a more understanding place where everyone feels they have a voice without hate and violence attached.
This may seem very unrealistic to most of us old folks, but I do believe that the younger generation is ready for a change. They no longer want to fight over the color of skin, or if you believe Jesus is the Savior, or if you are Pro-Choice. They want to live happy lives with freedoms that come from tolerance. No Bullies. No Platforms. Just a life where they can walk their dog in safety and they can jump from cliffs in foreign countries without the fear of being kidnapped. They want to raise their families free from controversy and stress that doesn't apply to them in the day to day. They want to know that we are all equal and some need more help than others and if you want to point fingers and say they must be lazy, then maybe they will be the ones who lend a helping hand. Yes, it would be wonderful if they were independently wealthy... money does make things easier. However, I have raised mine to understand the meaning of a dollar and I know that they would give the shirt off their back for someone in need.
Lazy people who want handouts are not always what they seem. YES... some are, and they work the system! Shame on them. But they are not the majority. Some just do not have the capabilities or the opportunities that my children have and I certainly hope that I have shown them the difference. My children have seen both sides, as I have always tried to see both sides. I will let them come to their own conclusions and maybe, just maybe with this new generation, things can change.
It's time for my platform to shut down and to allow the rest of this country to decide on their own how they will vote this November. All I ask is that you are very aware of the children around you and the impression you are leaving on them. Politics is everywhere, and they will have to deal with it eventually. But let them come to it on their own terms, not yours. Please keep your nastiness off of Facebook which was originally our younger generations', and now they have left to go Twitter because the old folks took it over. Is that not a hint that they are tired of our rants?
Thanks for taking the time,
Jo Lynn
I am at an age in life where I speak my mind when asked, and I speak it honestly. But I don't feel that it is necessary to brow beat everyone I meet that may differ in my opinion over just about every issue that is discussed in today's media, social sites and even Church on Sunday.
If you are not careful, you can lose some of your dearest friends that ten years ago you would have never even dreamed of knowing their political views. Now it seems that everyone must shout theirs' from the mountain tops! It reminds me of the time my husband told me, let's see it has to have been at least 20 years ago because our son is almost 16, that he didn't need to bring a child in to this world. It was not a place that he felt he wanted to subject a child to, and that it was only going to get worse. Boy was he right! Maybe we can start charging a fee for him to foresee the future instead of me trying to sell books ???
Well as stated above, our 16 year old son was born and very much planned after all. It seems even my husband was too enticed with the idea of carrying on his name and leaving some sort of mark on this world. Holding his breath that he wasn't leaving his son to the fears he had for our countries' and this global planets foreboding future.
I will do my level best to avoid any sensitive subjects for the next 60 days and decline any social gatherings and events that include politically passionate people. It is one thing to be passionate and another to be abrasive and rude. To wish someone dead just because they speak their mind, and are strong in their opinions plus Lord forbid homosexual, is just one example of how what you may feel is meant to be humorous, but is just down right truly appalling.
I am just a simple girl, who wants to watch the news and to look on FB to stay informed. Not to be blasted by personal opinion and biased views of what the world needs today. I have given both of my children the opportunity to judge for themselves. I have never forced a religious view or a political view on them. I have however, forced politeness, kindness, and listening and learning upon them. I know that as individuals they will make the right decisions as I have taught them to LOVE all man kind and to accept the unaccepted. To see the right where there is wrong and to seek out the best in people as we all make mistakes. My job as a parent is the only thing I feel that I can actually do to help change the world. Make it a more understanding place where everyone feels they have a voice without hate and violence attached.
This may seem very unrealistic to most of us old folks, but I do believe that the younger generation is ready for a change. They no longer want to fight over the color of skin, or if you believe Jesus is the Savior, or if you are Pro-Choice. They want to live happy lives with freedoms that come from tolerance. No Bullies. No Platforms. Just a life where they can walk their dog in safety and they can jump from cliffs in foreign countries without the fear of being kidnapped. They want to raise their families free from controversy and stress that doesn't apply to them in the day to day. They want to know that we are all equal and some need more help than others and if you want to point fingers and say they must be lazy, then maybe they will be the ones who lend a helping hand. Yes, it would be wonderful if they were independently wealthy... money does make things easier. However, I have raised mine to understand the meaning of a dollar and I know that they would give the shirt off their back for someone in need.
Lazy people who want handouts are not always what they seem. YES... some are, and they work the system! Shame on them. But they are not the majority. Some just do not have the capabilities or the opportunities that my children have and I certainly hope that I have shown them the difference. My children have seen both sides, as I have always tried to see both sides. I will let them come to their own conclusions and maybe, just maybe with this new generation, things can change.
It's time for my platform to shut down and to allow the rest of this country to decide on their own how they will vote this November. All I ask is that you are very aware of the children around you and the impression you are leaving on them. Politics is everywhere, and they will have to deal with it eventually. But let them come to it on their own terms, not yours. Please keep your nastiness off of Facebook which was originally our younger generations', and now they have left to go Twitter because the old folks took it over. Is that not a hint that they are tired of our rants?
Thanks for taking the time,
Jo Lynn
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Do YOU dine alone?
I never use to go anywhere alone. It wasn't until I heard my friend tell me that she goes to the movies by herself all the time, that I even CONSIDERED this idea. Then I learned that my daughter has done the same thing many times and I was so impressed, that I thought I should give it a try.
I must say that it is very empowering to have the confidence to walk in to a restaurant and say "just one". It felt a tad lonely speaking the words, but when I was actually seated for the first time and knew that I was beginning a new adventure, it felt awesome.
I must tell you of my last outing while dining alone which happened just over a week ago. Now I know some of you who do this sort of thing all the time are probably thinking, what's the big deal? Well, when you have had a boyfriend/husband and family and friends out the ying yang for years, it never occurs to you to eat alone. It's a choice. A choice that I have really grown to enjoy. My husband eats alone everyday and it never even dawned on me, that I could do the same. I eat at home alone all the time, why not in public? Will people feel sorry for me? I don't know because I rarely notice people eating alone and that is probably because I am so wrapped up in my non stop chatter with my companion of the day.
It was a beautiful summer evening, probably about 80 with a wonderful breeze blowing at just the right speed that it felt 70. I was seated at a table of four, with a beautiful view of children playing on a playground and shoppers walking past with conversation and smiles that made me wonder about their lives as I sat sipping my wine and dipping my bread in the fantastic oil. I decided to order an appetizer which I rarely do, because it is simply too much to eat. But I thought as I sat there, that this was just too perfect of a spot and evening to not share it with someone. So I ordered it to tide me over until I found a companion to join me. (Fried green tomatoes with Parmesan Cream Sauce, Yum) I first asked my husband, who was already 30 minutes west of me at home and tired, therefore he declined but told me to enjoy. I then proceeded to text all the gals I knew that lived near by and did not have family obligations at this hour. I ended up texting 6 different women and not one replied. I felt that I had waited a sufficient amount of time, so I ordered my favorite on the menu. Which is basically the house salad that has alfalfa and sunflower seeds in it and a side of blue cheese.
As I glanced around and took in all that I could because I was truly present in the moment, I noticed a woman sitting also alone at a table of four, however her back was toward me and I couldn't tell if she was finished eating, but I noticed that she was reading. The chair next to her held a portfolio type of Black Book, not a purse and she used a stand to hold her book up. This led me to the simple conclusion that she was an avid reader. Now I know this is bad, but I am always looking to pitch my book in the hopes that it will eventually get in the right hands and become a best seller. So yes, my ulterior motive was not the best, but it allowed me to have the courage to ask about this woman to the waitress we shared. The outdoor seating was becoming full and we were taking up tables. What harm would it be to ask her to join me? So I got up the nerve to ask the waitress if the lady was finished eating and if it would be weird if I asked her to join me for an after dinner cocktail. The waitress confirmed that she was indeed alone and finished eating.
So I walked over, never seeing her face and tapped her on the shoulder and said " hi, I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help noticing that we are both dining alone and I was wondering if you would like to join me? It would free up a table and we may just have something in common." She looked up at me and I was prepared for something like " oh I'm sorry, I need to be somewhere, but thank you" instead she replied with a surprisingly delighted tone " yes, I would love too, thank you" and she gathered her things and came and sat with me.
As we began to get to know one another, I was realizing just exactly how much I was enjoying this whole experience. Two random people just learning about one another and finding out each other to be extremely interesting. As it turned out, she was a minister! Now... I was floored by this knowledge and began to look at this meeting as much more than just a random chance encounter. She spoke my language and she wasn't the traditional minister. She worships through song and dance and boy did that sound right up my alley. I loved hearing her philosophy on religion vs. spirituality, and she never judged me when I told her that I struggled with the whole God thing. She wasn't pushy and she never sounded like a scripture quoting robot.
I gave her a copy of my book and my personal contact information and told her that I would love to hear her preach sometime. She received a phone call while we were sitting there, and felt she really needed to take it even though she felt it was rude. She spoke so eloquently to the person on the other line about meeting them to walk and talk about the Lord. I was hooked. I was enamored by this woman. I felt an immediate connection to her and as we wrapped up our conversation so that I could make it home before dark, she invited me to come dance the next time she was in my area and told me she would get back to me about her thoughts on my book. We hugged and went our seperate ways. This night felt so much like a divine appointment. That the higher power was in control because it knows of my daily struggles. I was excited and flying high with hope that this chance meeting was going to change my life. I was so excited that I rushed home to share the news with my husband.
You would think that by now, I would know him well enough to expect that he does not believe in chance encounters for a higher purpose. He is a realist and things are just black and white. It means nothing that I have been struggling and then poof... a minister shows up in my life? When I told him how this all went down, he seemed very uninterested and unimpressed and squashed every idea I had about it being a divine orchestrated event to get me closer to God. He doesn't believe that things like that truly happen. Basically, he was the killjoy who burst my bubble as usual. No sugar coating anything from him. He tells it like he sees it. But it crushed me, I really NEEDED this to be my way back in to the Holy Spirit and he stomped on it like a bug. But maybe he was right, I haven't heard a peep from this widow of seven years who is about a decade older than me. I don't know why I think she should be the one contacting me. But I really thought she would, and now that she hasn't, (this happened on the 12th of June) I'm beginning to think my husband is right. Maybe she is just too busy, or maybe something happened in her life that has kept her from thinking of me. But I haven't stopped thinking of her because she touched me.
I find it hard to believe that after texting six people and NONE of them responded that I wasn't meant to meet this woman. But now what? I reach out to her? Do I wait and see if she responds to me, just not on my timeline? I am sad, and my hopes are feeling smaller and smaller each day. It doesn't help to live with a man who has the emotional depth of a turnip. She told me she would counsel me and include me in her rehearsals for dance and song ceremonies. I really want to do all of that, but I don't want to seem desperate. So my experience, was lovely and I will always remember it. I will dine alone again, maybe often. I will search on my own to find my relationship with the higher power. But I am deep, and I do read a great deal in to things. My heart is sensitive and wide open, ready to listen and learn. I hope that you all sit and dine alone sometime, and get that strong and empowering feeling it gives you to have the confidence to do just that. Freedom. Freedom feels Fantastic! If I listened to my inner voice and my own intuition, this habit would take place on a much more regular basis.
Do you believe this was an appointed event?
Do you feel that I should reach out to her and not the other way around?
Do you dine alone?
Do you feel that things happen for a reason?
This is my journey back to having a relationship with God and it feels like an out of control roller coaster. Scripture does not help me, I know that to be certain. Not sure what will, but I am not going to give up trying. I'll find my purpose, and I will live up to my full potential eventually. I am listening to the whispers.
Share your stories and give me your insight. I love everyone's opinion.
Thanks for reading,
Jo Lynn ;D
I must say that it is very empowering to have the confidence to walk in to a restaurant and say "just one". It felt a tad lonely speaking the words, but when I was actually seated for the first time and knew that I was beginning a new adventure, it felt awesome.
I must tell you of my last outing while dining alone which happened just over a week ago. Now I know some of you who do this sort of thing all the time are probably thinking, what's the big deal? Well, when you have had a boyfriend/husband and family and friends out the ying yang for years, it never occurs to you to eat alone. It's a choice. A choice that I have really grown to enjoy. My husband eats alone everyday and it never even dawned on me, that I could do the same. I eat at home alone all the time, why not in public? Will people feel sorry for me? I don't know because I rarely notice people eating alone and that is probably because I am so wrapped up in my non stop chatter with my companion of the day.
It was a beautiful summer evening, probably about 80 with a wonderful breeze blowing at just the right speed that it felt 70. I was seated at a table of four, with a beautiful view of children playing on a playground and shoppers walking past with conversation and smiles that made me wonder about their lives as I sat sipping my wine and dipping my bread in the fantastic oil. I decided to order an appetizer which I rarely do, because it is simply too much to eat. But I thought as I sat there, that this was just too perfect of a spot and evening to not share it with someone. So I ordered it to tide me over until I found a companion to join me. (Fried green tomatoes with Parmesan Cream Sauce, Yum) I first asked my husband, who was already 30 minutes west of me at home and tired, therefore he declined but told me to enjoy. I then proceeded to text all the gals I knew that lived near by and did not have family obligations at this hour. I ended up texting 6 different women and not one replied. I felt that I had waited a sufficient amount of time, so I ordered my favorite on the menu. Which is basically the house salad that has alfalfa and sunflower seeds in it and a side of blue cheese.
As I glanced around and took in all that I could because I was truly present in the moment, I noticed a woman sitting also alone at a table of four, however her back was toward me and I couldn't tell if she was finished eating, but I noticed that she was reading. The chair next to her held a portfolio type of Black Book, not a purse and she used a stand to hold her book up. This led me to the simple conclusion that she was an avid reader. Now I know this is bad, but I am always looking to pitch my book in the hopes that it will eventually get in the right hands and become a best seller. So yes, my ulterior motive was not the best, but it allowed me to have the courage to ask about this woman to the waitress we shared. The outdoor seating was becoming full and we were taking up tables. What harm would it be to ask her to join me? So I got up the nerve to ask the waitress if the lady was finished eating and if it would be weird if I asked her to join me for an after dinner cocktail. The waitress confirmed that she was indeed alone and finished eating.
So I walked over, never seeing her face and tapped her on the shoulder and said " hi, I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help noticing that we are both dining alone and I was wondering if you would like to join me? It would free up a table and we may just have something in common." She looked up at me and I was prepared for something like " oh I'm sorry, I need to be somewhere, but thank you" instead she replied with a surprisingly delighted tone " yes, I would love too, thank you" and she gathered her things and came and sat with me.
As we began to get to know one another, I was realizing just exactly how much I was enjoying this whole experience. Two random people just learning about one another and finding out each other to be extremely interesting. As it turned out, she was a minister! Now... I was floored by this knowledge and began to look at this meeting as much more than just a random chance encounter. She spoke my language and she wasn't the traditional minister. She worships through song and dance and boy did that sound right up my alley. I loved hearing her philosophy on religion vs. spirituality, and she never judged me when I told her that I struggled with the whole God thing. She wasn't pushy and she never sounded like a scripture quoting robot.
I gave her a copy of my book and my personal contact information and told her that I would love to hear her preach sometime. She received a phone call while we were sitting there, and felt she really needed to take it even though she felt it was rude. She spoke so eloquently to the person on the other line about meeting them to walk and talk about the Lord. I was hooked. I was enamored by this woman. I felt an immediate connection to her and as we wrapped up our conversation so that I could make it home before dark, she invited me to come dance the next time she was in my area and told me she would get back to me about her thoughts on my book. We hugged and went our seperate ways. This night felt so much like a divine appointment. That the higher power was in control because it knows of my daily struggles. I was excited and flying high with hope that this chance meeting was going to change my life. I was so excited that I rushed home to share the news with my husband.
You would think that by now, I would know him well enough to expect that he does not believe in chance encounters for a higher purpose. He is a realist and things are just black and white. It means nothing that I have been struggling and then poof... a minister shows up in my life? When I told him how this all went down, he seemed very uninterested and unimpressed and squashed every idea I had about it being a divine orchestrated event to get me closer to God. He doesn't believe that things like that truly happen. Basically, he was the killjoy who burst my bubble as usual. No sugar coating anything from him. He tells it like he sees it. But it crushed me, I really NEEDED this to be my way back in to the Holy Spirit and he stomped on it like a bug. But maybe he was right, I haven't heard a peep from this widow of seven years who is about a decade older than me. I don't know why I think she should be the one contacting me. But I really thought she would, and now that she hasn't, (this happened on the 12th of June) I'm beginning to think my husband is right. Maybe she is just too busy, or maybe something happened in her life that has kept her from thinking of me. But I haven't stopped thinking of her because she touched me.
I find it hard to believe that after texting six people and NONE of them responded that I wasn't meant to meet this woman. But now what? I reach out to her? Do I wait and see if she responds to me, just not on my timeline? I am sad, and my hopes are feeling smaller and smaller each day. It doesn't help to live with a man who has the emotional depth of a turnip. She told me she would counsel me and include me in her rehearsals for dance and song ceremonies. I really want to do all of that, but I don't want to seem desperate. So my experience, was lovely and I will always remember it. I will dine alone again, maybe often. I will search on my own to find my relationship with the higher power. But I am deep, and I do read a great deal in to things. My heart is sensitive and wide open, ready to listen and learn. I hope that you all sit and dine alone sometime, and get that strong and empowering feeling it gives you to have the confidence to do just that. Freedom. Freedom feels Fantastic! If I listened to my inner voice and my own intuition, this habit would take place on a much more regular basis.
Do you believe this was an appointed event?
Do you feel that I should reach out to her and not the other way around?
Do you dine alone?
Do you feel that things happen for a reason?
This is my journey back to having a relationship with God and it feels like an out of control roller coaster. Scripture does not help me, I know that to be certain. Not sure what will, but I am not going to give up trying. I'll find my purpose, and I will live up to my full potential eventually. I am listening to the whispers.
Share your stories and give me your insight. I love everyone's opinion.
Thanks for reading,
Jo Lynn ;D
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