Do I feel like an Author yet?

As I sit and ponder over the wonderment of last evening, I can't help but continue to feel that this is happening to someone else.  It takes me back to a time when I was bitch, moaning and complaining to my husband many many years ago. I was certainly going through some sort of pity party and possibly hormonal.  Poor guy... I just cried and cried and said that I had never had a goal in my life except to find my biological father and to get my own apartment and live all by myself.  I achieved the latter of the two.  I was envious of people who had a plan, who always knew what they wanted out of life. I wailed at him that I had no talents nor any gifts and that I was doomed to be a nothing who accomplished nothing. 

Even though at the time, I had a beautiful daughter and a wonderful home and husband, it wasn't enough. I went on to say or cry at him that my sisters all had something they were good at, such as one was an awesome seamstress, another a fantastic painter, a musician, another was witty with words and creative in her ideas and goals.  Each time I would say " and what am I good at ? " He would just cringe in silence and try to sneak out of the room.  Finally when I pressed him further he said "You're a good Mother" and although that should have been a wonderful compliment, he had said it many times before and I didn't consider it a talent.  

After seriously rolling around and crying in my beer for a few hours, he said fine "You're a good Flirt!"

Ok, that woke me up and he had my attention front and center!  "What is THAT suppose to mean?" 

A man of few words, did not want to poke the beast any further and decided he had had enough and was backing out of this winless situation.  "I mean you are really friendly" and then he went to bed. 

Being a good Mom and being friendly are good qualities about a person and maybe I should have been happy with that, but I can tell you now after all these years, being someone who touches others through their words feels far better than being a good flirt. 

The emotions in the room last night were palpable to me.  I could see how they connected with me and how I was possibly describing something that has taken place in their own lives.  I really kinda felt like Oprah for a second.  Pretty cool indeed.  Loving to Learn at Fifty and sharing the wisdom so that the next generation of woman well be kinder to themselves is powerful stuff. I'm diggin' it. ;D

If you have a similar story or are stuck with "Am I doing everything I can to be my best self?"  (oprahism)  Then I would love for you to share it, and maybe it will help someone else find what they are good at, so they can be proud of themselves like I am now.  

Am I an Author? yes... Am I a good Author?  ahhh.... so so

I'm no poet and I am not "well read" but I can talk like the best of them.  (rambling included)

Thanks for reading,

Jo Lynn ;D

Book :  "I Can't Relate" by Jo Lynn Sudenly 

www.jenjohere.com  

jolynnsudenly@yahoo.com

Next Book Signing :  Dec. 6th at 6:00 The Coachman in Plainfield, Indiana